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Friday, March 31, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Super தத்துவம்s.
This is a consolidated list of some funny தத்துவம்s (Thathuvams) I came across lately.
It's really hilarious, so take a break and laugh out loud.
Folk who don't understand Tamil, Sorry about that.
தத்துவம்s:
Mechanical Engineer Mechanic aagalam, aana,
Software Engineer Software aaga mudiyaathu.
Paaku marathula paaku irukum,
Thaeku marathula thaeku irukum, aana,
Panamarathula panam irukaadhu.
Tea cup-la tea irukkalam, aana,
World Cup-la World irukkuma?
Cycle-la poana cycling,
Train-la poana training-a?
Pant Pottu Muttipoda mudiyum, aana,
muttipottu pant poda mudiyuma?
Fan-ukkum rekkai irukku. Paravai-kkum rekkai irukku,
Fan-ala parakka mudiyaathu, Paravai-ala sutha mudiyaathu. Aaanaa,
Fan-a amukina suthum, Paravai-a amukina kathum.
Tool box la tool la parka mudiyum,
match box la match a parka mudiyuma?
Irukkurappa enna daan Complan, Bournvita kudichalum,
sethadukkapram ellarukkum pal daan.
South India-la Narthangai kidaikkum. Aaana,
North India-la Southangai kidaikuma?
Mezhuga vechi mezhugu-vathi seyyalam, Aana
kosuva vechi kosu-vathi seyya mudiyathu.
Kovil maniya namma adicha saththam varum, aana,
kovil mani nammala adicha raththam than varum.
School testla bit adikkalaam,
College testla bit adikkalaam, aana,
BLOOD testla bit adikka mudiyaadhu.
Vaayala "naai"-nu solla mudiyum, Aaana,
Naayaala "Vaai"-nu solla mudiyuma?
Enna than naai nandri ullatha than irunthalum,
Athala "Thank you" solla mudeyathu! Idhuthan valkai.
Aayiram than irundhalum,
Aayirathi onnu than perusu.
Yennathan Ahimsavathiya irundhalum,
Chappathi-ya SUTTU than sappidanum.
kasu irundha call taxi!
Kasu illaina kall than taxi!
Train yenna thaan fasta ponnalum,
Train ode kadaisee potti kadaiseeya thaan varum!
Bus poita bus stand angayae thaan irukum, aana,
Cycle poita cycle stand koodavae poogum!
Cellula balance illana call panna mudiyathu, Aana,
Manushanukku call illana, Balance panna mudiyathu.
Poison 10 naal aana payasam aaga mudiyaadhu ,
ut, payasam 10 naal aana poison aagidum!
Meelendhu vizhuntha aathu Aruvi,
eeszhenthu parantha aathu Kuruvi.
Finally one in English:
If you drink ethanol you will dance
If you drink methanol others will dance.
It's really hilarious, so take a break and laugh out loud.
Folk who don't understand Tamil, Sorry about that.
தத்துவம்s:
Mechanical Engineer Mechanic aagalam, aana,
Software Engineer Software aaga mudiyaathu.
Paaku marathula paaku irukum,
Thaeku marathula thaeku irukum, aana,
Panamarathula panam irukaadhu.
Tea cup-la tea irukkalam, aana,
World Cup-la World irukkuma?
Cycle-la poana cycling,
Train-la poana training-a?
Pant Pottu Muttipoda mudiyum, aana,
muttipottu pant poda mudiyuma?
Fan-ukkum rekkai irukku. Paravai-kkum rekkai irukku,
Fan-ala parakka mudiyaathu, Paravai-ala sutha mudiyaathu. Aaanaa,
Fan-a amukina suthum, Paravai-a amukina kathum.
Tool box la tool la parka mudiyum,
match box la match a parka mudiyuma?
Irukkurappa enna daan Complan, Bournvita kudichalum,
sethadukkapram ellarukkum pal daan.
South India-la Narthangai kidaikkum. Aaana,
North India-la Southangai kidaikuma?
Mezhuga vechi mezhugu-vathi seyyalam, Aana
kosuva vechi kosu-vathi seyya mudiyathu.
Kovil maniya namma adicha saththam varum, aana,
kovil mani nammala adicha raththam than varum.
School testla bit adikkalaam,
College testla bit adikkalaam, aana,
BLOOD testla bit adikka mudiyaadhu.
Vaayala "naai"-nu solla mudiyum, Aaana,
Naayaala "Vaai"-nu solla mudiyuma?
Enna than naai nandri ullatha than irunthalum,
Athala "Thank you" solla mudeyathu! Idhuthan valkai.
Aayiram than irundhalum,
Aayirathi onnu than perusu.
Yennathan Ahimsavathiya irundhalum,
Chappathi-ya SUTTU than sappidanum.
kasu irundha call taxi!
Kasu illaina kall than taxi!
Train yenna thaan fasta ponnalum,
Train ode kadaisee potti kadaiseeya thaan varum!
Bus poita bus stand angayae thaan irukum, aana,
Cycle poita cycle stand koodavae poogum!
Cellula balance illana call panna mudiyathu, Aana,
Manushanukku call illana, Balance panna mudiyathu.
Poison 10 naal aana payasam aaga mudiyaadhu ,
ut, payasam 10 naal aana poison aagidum!
Meelendhu vizhuntha aathu Aruvi,
eeszhenthu parantha aathu Kuruvi.
Finally one in English:
If you drink ethanol you will dance
If you drink methanol others will dance.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
The Global Indian
The story begins with Lakshmi Metal (sorry Mittal), the Indian born billionaire, steel tycoon and the chief executive of the world’s largest steel maker Mittal Steel, bidding $23 bn (€18.6bn) to acquire his closest rival Arcelor of Europe. Arcelor is the product of a merger four years ago between three steel companies -- Spain's Aceralia, France's Usinor and Luxembourg's Arbed. Luxembourg is the largest single shareholder with a stake of 5.6 percent. France which is a major player in this has expressed serious concerns over this bidding. Other governing bodies including Belgian, German, Italian, Luxembourg and Spanish unions have expressed "unanimous opposition" to the takeover.
While the apprehension over job cuts as the primary concern, Arcelor has strongly criticized Mittal's "hostile" approach, claiming the two firms' businesses and cultural values are incompatible. And although France tries to avoid looking arrogant over Mittal, since that might jeopardize the diplomatic relationship with India, the obvious hint behind the disinclination could be because Mittal is an Indian.
There are two arguments to this issue.
The less significant side: Why is India so keen on this? Why is the Indian government is closely monitoring the issue of Lakshmi Mittal, who operates in 17 countires including Algeria, Bosnia, Germany, Indonesia, Kazakhstan, Mexico, Netherlands, Poland, South Africa and the U.S but nothing as yet in India? When I say “as yet”, am I hoping he would have a set up in India soon? Is it so typically Indian?
But the more significant side: Why is there so much insecurity among the French and the other European counties about a bid? Lakshmi Mittal may be Indian by birth but he has nothing yet to do with India and his company is as European as any other. A lot of questions have been raised about him, his Indian-ness and his way of doing business. Are they worried if this takeover would monopolize the European steel Industry or is it because it’s done by an Indian?
Being Indian, I know it’s very difficult when you just keep thinking of the days when you were on top and doze off in the present (Who better than us to talk of that, we've been and still are talking about how susrutha was the world's first surgeon and how we founded astronomy before they wore clothes in Europe).
Anyways, it’s more apt to say, “Hello World! You may love or hate India, but you just can’t avoid her”.
So wake up Europe and smell the curry. The global Indian has arrived.
While the apprehension over job cuts as the primary concern, Arcelor has strongly criticized Mittal's "hostile" approach, claiming the two firms' businesses and cultural values are incompatible. And although France tries to avoid looking arrogant over Mittal, since that might jeopardize the diplomatic relationship with India, the obvious hint behind the disinclination could be because Mittal is an Indian.
There are two arguments to this issue.
The less significant side: Why is India so keen on this? Why is the Indian government is closely monitoring the issue of Lakshmi Mittal, who operates in 17 countires including Algeria, Bosnia, Germany, Indonesia, Kazakhstan, Mexico, Netherlands, Poland, South Africa and the U.S but nothing as yet in India? When I say “as yet”, am I hoping he would have a set up in India soon? Is it so typically Indian?
But the more significant side: Why is there so much insecurity among the French and the other European counties about a bid? Lakshmi Mittal may be Indian by birth but he has nothing yet to do with India and his company is as European as any other. A lot of questions have been raised about him, his Indian-ness and his way of doing business. Are they worried if this takeover would monopolize the European steel Industry or is it because it’s done by an Indian?
Being Indian, I know it’s very difficult when you just keep thinking of the days when you were on top and doze off in the present (Who better than us to talk of that, we've been and still are talking about how susrutha was the world's first surgeon and how we founded astronomy before they wore clothes in Europe).
Anyways, it’s more apt to say, “Hello World! You may love or hate India, but you just can’t avoid her”.
So wake up Europe and smell the curry. The global Indian has arrived.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Outsource to Out of Source
Why is India the best choice for outsourcing? Because we are English speaking, we deliver quality work and most of all, we are cost effective.
Countless companies mainly from North America chose to outsource all their IT and ITES (IT Enabled Services) jobs to India to save valuable bucks. There were large scale job cuts in that continent as they were all moved to cheaper locations in India. This made both the players happy since the giver got the job done for peanuts and the taker was able to do a lot with those peanuts. However, things are now beginning to look different and soon we’d be moving form being a victor to a victim of the same thing.
Over the time, many IT companies in India began increasing the pay package of their engineers and the greed to get more money made well paid engineers feel they are underpaid. This led to higher demands, high attrition and greater efforts by organization to hold on to the resources. Even people who worked all day collecting status in Excel sheets began demanding annual compensation in 7 digits. And in no time these peanuts grew to become watermelons, defeating the cause of this whole outsourcing exercise. The Source of work and money that felt the bite of this expense has began searching for alternate destinations like China and other East Asian countries.
Is this Shining India just a lamp that’s going to go off? Did we count our chickens before knowing whether the eggs will hatch or become omelets?
Just when countries like China are emphasizing more on learning English, if things go the same way, we will soon move from the “Destination to Outsource” to a “Destination Out of source”.
Also read: SAP finds Indian techies too costly
Countless companies mainly from North America chose to outsource all their IT and ITES (IT Enabled Services) jobs to India to save valuable bucks. There were large scale job cuts in that continent as they were all moved to cheaper locations in India. This made both the players happy since the giver got the job done for peanuts and the taker was able to do a lot with those peanuts. However, things are now beginning to look different and soon we’d be moving form being a victor to a victim of the same thing.
Over the time, many IT companies in India began increasing the pay package of their engineers and the greed to get more money made well paid engineers feel they are underpaid. This led to higher demands, high attrition and greater efforts by organization to hold on to the resources. Even people who worked all day collecting status in Excel sheets began demanding annual compensation in 7 digits. And in no time these peanuts grew to become watermelons, defeating the cause of this whole outsourcing exercise. The Source of work and money that felt the bite of this expense has began searching for alternate destinations like China and other East Asian countries.
Is this Shining India just a lamp that’s going to go off? Did we count our chickens before knowing whether the eggs will hatch or become omelets?
Just when countries like China are emphasizing more on learning English, if things go the same way, we will soon move from the “Destination to Outsource” to a “Destination Out of source”.
Also read: SAP finds Indian techies too costly
Monday, January 30, 2006
Governmentium
I got this as a forward, and its really hilarious.
While I was Rolling On The Floor Laughing, I wondered, Is that all I can do? Are we going to live with it just making fun?
Anyway, for now, let's have some fun.
Governmentium:
A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
While I was Rolling On The Floor Laughing, I wondered, Is that all I can do? Are we going to live with it just making fun?
Anyway, for now, let's have some fun.
Governmentium:
A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I am Clueless…
I was rather bored of being bored during weekends and decided to beat the lull. How best can one spend the weekend during peak winter if he doesn’t know skiing? Go to pubs? Well if he doesn’t drink? Hm, may be a movie should lighten up the spirits. After careful scrutiny of all the running movies and their reviews, I opted to go for the movie that had the maximum review score. To answer your curiosity it was ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ that had scored 8.9/10.
I and my friend reached the Paramount Theaters well in advance to book our tickets. And, what do you know, the movie runs in an IMAX facility (without 3D and of course for few extra dollars). Having never been to an IMAX before, I was curious to see what all the hype is about. We entered a rather empty theater and took the central location for best view. The movie started.
The screen was massive and I couldn’t fit the whole picture in one view, and watching those spectacular visuals with great precision on the BIG screen was a treat to the eyes. The 3D surround sound surrounded us. The movie went on for two and half hour without intermission and we sat there in comfort.
The movie got over and we were out, just then I realized I hardly remember any scene of the movie. I lacked the feeler one generally has after a movie. That’s when this question came up. What makes a movie deliver the punch? Is it the IMAX clarity, the flawless graphics, emphatic sound, a best selling story or the $15 you pay to watch it? What makes a movie leave an impression that lasts at least a day? How are movies rated then?
All of a sudden, I was clueless…
I and my friend reached the Paramount Theaters well in advance to book our tickets. And, what do you know, the movie runs in an IMAX facility (without 3D and of course for few extra dollars). Having never been to an IMAX before, I was curious to see what all the hype is about. We entered a rather empty theater and took the central location for best view. The movie started.
The screen was massive and I couldn’t fit the whole picture in one view, and watching those spectacular visuals with great precision on the BIG screen was a treat to the eyes. The 3D surround sound surrounded us. The movie went on for two and half hour without intermission and we sat there in comfort.
The movie got over and we were out, just then I realized I hardly remember any scene of the movie. I lacked the feeler one generally has after a movie. That’s when this question came up. What makes a movie deliver the punch? Is it the IMAX clarity, the flawless graphics, emphatic sound, a best selling story or the $15 you pay to watch it? What makes a movie leave an impression that lasts at least a day? How are movies rated then?
All of a sudden, I was clueless…
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
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